It doesn't get easier...

His shirt is still sitting on my dresser. It accidentally got mixed in with mine. This is expected with kids. He's reunited with a family member and we don't want him to come back. ... But I do. Whoever said that you don't get attached to the children in your home, is a LIAR! We're told to give the children a loving home with normalcy and show them how life is with two parents, going to school, going to church and doing youth group events, going to homecoming football games and all the things that go into being a part of a family.

I'm excited that he's reunited with his family! And so is my husband. He's more excited than I am, I believe. The next three days after he left, I sobbed. I didn't do it in front of the other children, of course. I know it's because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what might go wrong, what could go wrong and what has gone wrong. He's only 3 years old and has no idea that his life may or may not get better!

I digress. I tell myself that prayer is the only thing that'll help. And that's the truth. Prayer is all I can do. The Lord knows more than me. I know I'll still cry. I'll get attached to another child just like him. And that's okay. That's normal. The husband and I have discussed that it's okay to be attached to a child that has so many good qualities and has the best potential. I understand and know now why my parents pushed me so hard! They saw the potential that I didn't know was there. I've started a business twice, I've finished college (even being over 30 years old), I got a job closer to my education than ever before, met a God-fearing husband, and now I'm working in a ministry that I never imagined in all my life would be the biggest blessing ever! I've met so many great, God fearing, loving people where I work... NO, where I love to live! You can't see being a houseparent as a job. It's definitely a calling!

It doesn't get easier when they leave! I've seen several come and go. And I still get emotional. I have faith that God takes care of the children after they leave my home. It's not up to me to tell the families how to take care of the kids when they do leave. It doesn't get easier as time goes on. The only thing that is easier is the way I show my emotions and when I let them out.